Wednesday, March 30, 2016

50 Shades of Blake

You know it’s time to buy a new car when your car says, “I’m done!” 
It’s kind of like a woman going through menopause…our bodies just don’t want to run like they used to. The car will start having its own version of hot flashes, and begin leaking all over the place.  It will get tempermental sometimes and decide to shut down.  Its joints will ache and begin locking up.  Its skin will dry out and begin cracking… all because it is getting older.  The mileage typically tells the whole story!  Ain’t that the truth!
So, I took my worn-out car to a dealership to trade for a new one, and the manager says, “We are going to have to send this one to the auction…it is too old for us to do anything with, and the problems with this car are only going to get worse.  I just can’t offer you much in cash for the car.”  I sadly understood that, as it seemed to hit home!  I began to feel bad about trading it in. 

The car had a name; no one knew this except for me.  Her name was Pie (you know, like the horse from “National Velvet.”J)   I began to wonder who would appreciate the miles Pie had left?  She still ran great…and she was super dependable!  She just had some, “issues.” 

The car salesman knew I was unsure of trading in Pie for something new, but he was GOOD!  He took me to meet Pie’s younger brother, and told me all about his modern and technilogical features.  He was eye candy!  His color was silver and he was laced with black leather.  He had all kinds of buttons I wanted to push, and I was getting excited.  Then, he gave me the keys and said, “Let’s take it for a spin.”  I felt as if I were having an affair as I snuggled down into those plush leather seats… and drove it I did! 

I knew this car’s name immediately.  It was Blake (do I need to say why?)  Wouldn’t you like to see Blake in a silver t-shirt and black leather pants? (Even Adam would like to see that!)  Suddenly, I no longer wanted Pie…I wanted, Blake!  Pie was sweet, but Blake is hot! 

He was calling for me to pick him!

So, I drove off into the sunset with Blake last week.  I listened to him serenade sweet music to me on the way home, and I sank into his leather arms as if we were cuddling up to a fire.  His headlights were piercing and his seats were warm and toasty.  He made me feel special, loved and secure.  What more could a menopausal mom ask for?

May your hot flashes be mild and your wrinkles even milder.
Kim York