There is a semi-wrecked car in my front yard. Am I too nice?

Monday: There is a car in my front yard.
It belongs to a guy who lives somewhere in the neighborhood who police said was probably going too fast on the slippery roads and came within feet of hitting the only tree in my corner lot.
It was before 9 a.m. He was very distraught and didn't seem dressed for the weather...it was one of those sub-zero days we are all loving so much. He had on a thin hoody and sweats was older, older than me! He was very shaken up.
So, when he came to my door and it was freezing cold I didn't think. "Dude, you almost hit my tree!" I didn't say, "give me all of your contact information, right now Mister, you've torn my yard to shreds!"
Nope, I was concerned that he was safe and warm and wasn't hurt. I was worried about him and didn't  even get his name. I told him no worries and I was just glad he was OK. My focus was on making sure whether he needed help while calculating whether or not it was safe to invite him into my house to get warm or make a call because I was alone and in my bath robe.  (His other vehicle, a Ford Tundra which  a police officer said capable of pulling the car out of the ditch, was  idling in the street.)
The tactic agreement in this exchange was that I expected he would do the right thing and come claim his car out of my yard when the weather got warmer and the crisis passed and make an effort to make things right.
So, now, five days later, there is still a car in my yard.
I called the police because I thought they would place one of those stickers you see stuck on cars on the side of the highway and, soon, remove it from my property.  I was informed by the police that it is parked on private property....mine...I am responsible to tow it away if the owner doesn't come to claim it.
So, I suppose, within the next few days I'll have to play some kind of hard ball and tow the car, somehow notify the owner and say "pay me what I paid to tow the car or it is mine."
That makes me uncomfortable. I was just trying to be nice. But I had a different recent experience were I discovered that all that being nice has gotten me is screwed out of tens of thousands of dollars over the years. And, believe me when I say, I do not have tens of thousands of  dollars to be screwed out of. But it got me wondering is it ever wrong to be nice? Have I been too accommodating over the years because I wanted to be liked or because I was afraid to hurt someone's feelings? Or because I I thought I was protecting someone else? Would it have been so wrong to ask the guy for his name and numbers?
Tuesday: So, I started writing this post on Monday and now it's Tuesday. The nervous car driver came by while I was carefully stepping through the icy driveway to retrieve my garbage can so I didn't break a hip. He was nervous and apologetic and promised to get the car out of my yard.
He said he had lost three people he loved in the last six months, including his wife and his mother,  and hadn't gotten use to it all. For a minute, to be honest, I wondered if he was telling the truth. There was an instant when I took all of him in. He was still wearing the same clothes ill-suited for the weather.  His speech was difficult to understand because it seemed he didn't have in his teeth. He looked about ready to cry. So I looked him squarely in the eye and said "I'm glad your were OK" and "I know you'll do your best."
In that moment it felt like the right thing to do but I still wondered, stepping gingerly back down the driveway that I may well be the biggest sucker of all time.
Wednesday: I pull out for work and the car was gone. It was one of those moments where I couldn't help but smile and the sun seemed to shine a little brighter.  It may be overstating it but I felt like my faith in humanity had been in part restored. I had considered reconsidering my probably naive life outlook that assumes that basically people are doing the best they can. This recent lapse in faith has been tied directly to a particular person who never ceases to amaze me in their ability to be thoughtless and hurtful.
But here is the thing. I'm the one at fault in that case. Once, maybe twice, you give a person a chance. When it gets to be chance, five, six, 100, 200.....you have to take some responsibility. Or, more directly, I have to take responsibility. And action. That person is out of good will and good thoughts.
But my distraught driver? He had one chance. He did the right thing and I have never been happier to see tire marks in my yard.

Shout out to our reader (readers?) in Poland! Menopause is universal.
Seventeen countries and counting!
Mary M.

Hot Flashes + Snowpocalypse 2015= Happy Menopausal Mom

Snow.  I had never thought about it, but “snow” is a four-letter word.  And, typically I don’t like four-letter words, but I happen to love this one! 

I was so excited to hear Sunday night’s weather forecast for Monday: “10-14 inches of snow predicted for Central, KY.” Yay!!  And to top that, record low temperatures will follow the big snow storm, which was named “Octavia” by the way.  That name actually sounds more like a kind, menopausal woman you would invite to dinner rather than a scary snow storm

But, speaking of menopause, as we so often do in this blog, I was watching the “Today Show” Tuesday morning, and they devoted an entire segment to menopause…it even spanned into Hoda and Kathie Lee’s hour.  They were reporting that menopause could last 14 years or more.  They said many factors played a part, and that “The younger you are when it starts, the longer it may last.”  Really?  Really? I began having hot flashes when I was 45.  This could not possibly go into my 60’s…could it?  Well, my husband said he hoped I stayed hot as I got older.  Be careful what you wish for. 

And, for those of us who suffer with our own personal summers year round, does it get any better than a prediction of a massive snow storm?  It’s a menopausal woman’s dream come true!  When a hot flash happens, you just open the door.  Immediate, refreshing relief!

And, I was elated to wake up Monday to find out the prediction was correct.  By Monday evening, we had over a foot of snow in my little hometown of Winchester, KY.  I was like a little girl wanting to build a snowman, but this type of powdery snow would not support an Olaf.  But, that mattered not to me.  I was just happy that with snow came cold temperatures.  I must have opened the door at least 20 times on Monday. 

 No one else in my household seemed to like the snow one bit. Even my dogs did not want to go out in it.  I would open the door for them to go out and do their business, and they would tuck their tails, look at me with those sad puppy dog eyes, and run back into the living room.  Sometimes, I would open the door and they would look out the door, look up at me, look out the door, look up at me, as if to say, “Really, you haven’t shoveled us a place to poop yet?” They REALLY had to go bad before they would venture out.  And, I have to say, watching them try to find a place to actually do their business was hilarious.  They would push themselves through the snow in a circle until there was a decent path, then they would let er rip!  They didn’t seem to appreciate my laughter, but it was entertainment for mom!

My husband acted much like the dogs.  He didn’t want to go out in the snow either.  But, Tuesday came and the cars and drive-way needed clearing.  So, he opened the door, looked outside, looked at me, looked outside, looked at me, and I said, “What, you expect me to do the shoveling?  Get on out there…the dogs had to figure it out too.” 

Today’s forecast is calling for record low temperatures.  I believe one forecast said -10 degrees, and this is not the wind-chill factor, this will be the actual temperature itself.  That makes me happy.  If I feel a personal summer coming on, I will just open winter’s door.  Life is good.

May your hot flashes be mild and your wrinkles even milder.
Kim York

Trapped by the snow: 10 nice things you can do for yourself

It it cold and gray and the snow keeps coming down and piling up. (The picture is a two foot bucket in my backyard.) It seems like a good time to think about some things any Mom can do for herself without much fuss or money. My only expertise in this area is being a Mom like many Moms who doesn't often put taking care of herself on her to do list. 

So here are some thoughts.

1. Take an extra long shower, take a few extra minutes to deep condition your hair and use that fancy soap that seems too good to use everyday.

2. If you have pets. Play with them. Throw the ball for your puppy. Get out the laser pointer out for the cat. It makes them so happy, it will brighten your day. 

3. Watch the first Netflix movie or On Demand movie that catches your eye. No judgement. Not even on yourself. Why is it that the longer you spend trying to pick something to watch the more particular you become because, you know,  you invested so much time in picking. I watched a fairly terrible movie earlier today. All the way through. I'll admit it. When I'm done here, I'm tuning into Hallmark I'm really hoping for an Ed Asner cameo and the main female character being or becoming a chef.

4. As Hallmark commercials keep reminding me as we get older we get drier.  Splurge a little on some deep moisturizing lotion and keep it on within arms reach or your favorite chair. (That's what they are talking about in the commercials, right? Dry skin?) Also, a tube of Chap Stick or Blistex should always be on hand.

6. Invest a little money in a good pillow or two. How much time do you spend in bed? How important is sleep? You don't have to go broke. Check out Big Lots or Overstock.com for good deals or use the many discounts offered by Kohls.

7. Hold on, I'm about to get all Zen-y but celebrate the good things you've done today,  the ways you have loved people in the right way and the times you have been kind just because it was the thing to do. I know I can dwell too long on the many, many things that have gone wrong.

8. Tell somebody who is important to you that you are glad they are in your life. It will help the both of you.

9. Write something just for yourself. It doesn't have to poetic or a work of great fiction just put your fingers to the keyboard or a pen to paper to organize and get out some thoughts. If you are like me, the unbridled and cluttered brain can get very noisy place.

10. Stand up for yourself but without malice. If you get pushed stand firm and hold your ground but try to do it for yourself not out of spite. If you figure out how to do that, please let me know. If I master that, you'll be the first to know.

Shout out to Poland, one of 14 countries and counting where we've reached Menopausal Moms. Menopause is universal!

Mary M.

Loading in for the Snow: Snowpocalypse Edition

Biscuits.

If you're from the South you know that when snow is coming you load in biscuits.

My Super Kroger on Sunday was literally out of biscuits.
The whole freezer case was empty. 

I suppose to the purist there were the makings of biscuits in the baking aisle but who has the time?

And the reason I am writing this post is that I am curious about the things people grab on their way home when they feel like they are going to be trapped by snow.

I suppose that my Mamaw made biscuits for breakfast every morning. My Mom did not. I certainly don't. I provide Cliffs Bars or Pop Tarts. That's on a good day. On a bad day it's "here's a dollar for sausage pancake on a stick at school" and "there's half a bottle of water in the back of the car, oh wait, maybe Mountain Dew..."   

What about snow makes people biscuit crazy?

If I had to pick a breakfast bread to be trapped with on a snow day, I'd go for cinnamon rolls or a nice blueberry scone.
Are people, especially Moms, giving into peer pressure to appear more responsible?

Are they worried someon in the check out aisle will spy their cart in th check out aisle....we all know we judge....and think "cinnamon rolls, scones....where are the biscuits? What kind of mother doesn't get snow biscuits?"

The run on milk is equally weird to me. Are people suddenly jonesing for milk? We made snow cream when I was little and I loved it but a gallon of milk would make, what, 5 gallons of snow cream? 

Does falling snow raise the need for calcium in your blood?

I'll admit I am generally ill prepared to survive lengthy entrapment in my house.
If I honestly made a list of things I really need to survive it would be say cheese, pasta, sauce, pizza, cheese, almond milk and cheese. And the number for Chinese delivery .

That covers the basics. 

I suppose as a Menopausal Moms would add wine and chocolate. 

Really, check out judgement aside, what do you load in for a Snow Day?

And today's shout out goes to our readers in Malta. Or maybe reader. Either way MALTA!