It was late one night.
The ad said "see men for free".
I like men pretty well.
I like free even better so I started to click through links.
It said something like "just answer a few questions."
So I started to answer a few questions.
I didn't really give it much thought.
I remember years ago when I was helping a friend who was about my age now, 50, sign up for an online profile. We labored for hours over the words and the pictures.
This was not like that at all. For all I remember my every answer might have been "cats are nice" or "summer is a good time of year." Riveting stuff.
It was not thoughtful or especially original. I just kept waiting for the questions to end.
But, apparently, what I did was create a profile that other people could look at and that the mystical eHarmony algorithm will use to magically find me my soul mate.
I never did really see this promised array of available men.
So, even though I wasn't really trying and didn't post a picture, it sent me a batch of men who lived in my general area and the areas of interest we had in common.
All most of them were matches because I had checked "eating at restaurants" as something I enjoy doing.
Here's the thing. I don't especially love eating out at restaurants but I checked it because I do, sometimes, enjoy eating out.
But I wondered what it says about me and the dozen or so guys eHarmony said I should check out that the single most intesting thing we do, according to the magic machine, is that we eat food prepared by other people. It is true that happens in my life. I bought this today while on the way to work.
But I would hope that, maybe, there is something greater over which to bond.
Now, I am not pretending that I am leading some kind of crazy lifestyle. I'll admit the highlight this week was finding somebody to shovel the 17 inches of snow off my driveway.
But I'd like to think that if I were really looking for companionship it might be based more than a nice plate of carbs. But I don't know. What matters as you get older and you meet someone?
I meet a woman recently who is my age who was interested, in part, in her boyfriend because they both smoked. It made her like him more. They are now facing a challenge because her health has forced her to quit and he isn't quite ready to give up cigarettes.
Another friend recently told me she thinks much differently about relationships now that she has one in her 50s than she did in her 20s or 30s. She looks at what she expects much differently than she did before.
It did get me wondering whether I will ever have a companion in my life again. I have been single a long time and my engery has been focused in other directions. And if I do, what shape will that reationship take and were will I find him?
I know I am a long way from something like BeautifulPeople.Com
This is a website where the hot among us vote to let their fellow beauties join an exclusive dating pool. It is like the worst, co-ed rush week ever and it apparently never ends. Apparently it just kicked 3,000 people off because they have let themselves go by gaining weight
Some of them have also "aged gracelessly". I probably fall into both categories.
I know I shouldn't judge, but the guy in charge of the site looks like this:
So I wonder if he was actually voted in by the same rush week from hell process. Anyway, I digress I just hope I'm not destined for this:
Here is something I do know.....I have spent most of the last 16 years focused on someone else and rightly so. But I need to start thinking of a lot of things differently. Maybe dating is one of them. I find it kind of terrifying but I've faced a lot bigger challenges. I have another friend who swears she put getting married on a vision board and she was hitched within the year.
Baby steps, I guess.....maybe I should try putting in some legitimate answers in my eHarmony profile? They send me about a message a day. Apparently this week men are on sale.
Shout out to Norway.....Menopausal Moms has readers in 17 countries and counting. Menopause is Universal.
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