50 Shades of Blake

You know it’s time to buy a new car when your car says, “I’m done!” 

It’s kind of like a woman going through menopause…our bodies just don’t want to run like they used to. The car will start having its own version of hot flashes, and begin leaking all over the place.  It will get tempermental sometimes and decide to shut down.  Its joints will ache and begin locking up.  Its skin will dry out and begin cracking… all because it is getting older.  The mileage typically tells the whole story!  Ain’t that the truth!

So, I took my worn-out car to a dealership to trade for a new one, and the manager says, “We are going to have to send this one to the auction…it is too old for us to do anything with, and the problems with this car are only going to get worse.  I just can’t offer you much in cash for the car.”  I sadly understood that, as it seemed to hit home!  I began to feel bad about trading it in. 

The car had a name; no one knew this except for me.  Her name was Pie (you know, like the horse from “National Velvet.”J)   I began to wonder who would appreciate the miles Pie had left?  She still ran great…and she was super dependable!  She just had some, “issues.” 









The car salesman knew I was unsure of trading in Pie for something new, but he was GOOD!  He took me to meet Pie’s younger brother, and told me all about his modern and technilogical features.  He was eye candy!  His color was silver and he was laced with black leather.  He had all kinds of buttons I wanted to push, and I was getting excited.  Then, he gave me the keys and said, “Let’s take it for a spin.”  I felt as if I were having an affair as I snuggled down into those plush leather seats… and drove it I did! 


I knew this car’s name immediately.  It was Blake (do I need to say why?)  Wouldn’t you like to see Blake in a silver t-shirt and black leather pants? (Even Adam would like to see that!)  Suddenly, I no longer wanted Pie…I wanted, Blake!  Pie was sweet, but Blake is hot! 
 

He was calling for me to pick him!

So, I drove off into the sunset with Blake last week.  I listened to him serenade sweet music to me on the way home, and I sank into his leather arms as if we were cuddling up to a fire.  His headlights were piercing and his seats were warm and toasty.  He made me feel special, loved and secure.  What more could a menopausal mom ask for?

May your hot flashes be mild and your wrinkles even milder.
Kim York

Why Every Digital Media Company Needs Me...Or Someone Like Me

By Mary Meehan
I'm the one who enjoyed Magic Mike

I am middle-aged white woman, from rural state but every digital media company needs me or someone like me.

Just a couple of housekeeping things. First, I can talk the language: The analytics on my Twitter show a trending 41 percent increase week over week due primarily actual engagement but there is the potential that spamming bots are pushing the diagnostics, but, no, I can't share actual raw numbers because that information is proprietary.

Second, I want to engage fully in the a digital age although to be honest, I'm still on the fence about Snap Chat, mostly because my friends don't Snap back. I'm also not sure SnapChat or stories via instant messaging bots with artificial intelligence are going to save journalism but, what the heck, I'm willing to give it a try.

And while I know the visual with the gray hair could be a troublesome let's just say I paid a salon to it since that is in fact now a thing. Here is an article from Buzzfeed, a place that if they had someone like me would have come up with something better than  #GrannyHairForever.

ONE:
I'm your audience. I know you long for someone sleeker and younger -- who wouldn't? -- but Facebook ate the world because people like me can figure out how to use it.Yes, that means there are too many pictures of dogs on couches but there is something to be said for having a member of your actual end game audience on your team because, as of today, you still have to reach that market to have a real stake in the mass media world.

TWO:
Everything new is familiar. SnapChat is a new technology but a familiar idea. We called it chunky bits. It was an alternative story form in vogue way back in the last century. It takes practice to get good at it. I am good at it. In fact, I'm very good at storytelling and, no matter how you package it, that's what we are trying to do

THREE:
Ethan Zuckerman, head of MITs Civic Media Lab, tells a story about how relieved MIT parents are that they kids finally find "their people". Brilliant people, he says, who are nearly all on the Autism  Spectrum who can also find the regular world often confounding. I am gregarious and funny and prone to random acts of hugging. Sure at first you might find me terrifying, but I am also empathetic, smart and a thoughtful listener overall a necessary barometer of how humans outside of  a tech or media bubble understand the world

FOUR:
Full tilt is fine but there's a line. So, Dear Vice, I'm sorry I told one of your fearless leaders that his video about riots in Brazil felt like he was trying to make war seem fun. I should have also said I was concerned because his infantile fantasy of war may actually be a reaction to the trauma of the actual death, blood and chaos that comes with real war. So as a member of your team, I'd remind you that the best journalist have an instinct to go hard all the time but a responsible employer helps them look out for own their best interest, (Wait, all media companies need to do that and often don't) Plus, you can make a video where war looks like fun but someone in the room should be asking if you should.


FIVE:
I get the fundamentals. The head of BBC recently talked about how in the tangle of platforms and efforts to blanket the digital world with a story about a red door , The whole frantic and impressive crew forgot to get a picture of the red door. It's ironic that some folks are now saying get it out and fix it later but we all know that once something gets out on the wide world of web you can't really take it back. So if the idea of taking a few minutes to double check something is old school journalism, I'm old school because in a digital age getting it right the first time matters more than ever.


***Why 5? Three is too few. Six just seems awkward. Ten seems like bragging.

Menopausal Moms has been read in over 50 countries. Shout out to a new reader from Alegeria.

Get those wrinkled hands off my steering wheel!

Driving to work last week, I had an “a-ha” moment, except mine was more like an “o-crap” moment.  As I was driving along, I glanced down at the steering wheel.  At that moment, I didn’t recognize the hands driving my car.  That could not possibly be MY hands!  They look like my grandmother’s!  Where did all of those wrinkles come from?  I know they weren’t there yesterday!!

I feel as though I got old overnight.  I was looking in the mirror as I put on my massive amounts of make-up this morning, and I saw wrinkles around my eyes and mouth I had never noticed before.  Seriously, how could this happen so suddenly?  I know I have to “tinkle” much more than I used to, and I get that my joints ache much more now-a-days, and I understand 50 is really not the new 30.  But, how do wrinkles just seem to form overnight? UGH!

Now, I find myself looking at “those” advertisements that used to completely annoy me.  Here are just a few:

1.   RoC^® RETINOL CORREXION^® Deep Wrinkle Serum

This anti-aging formula is clinically proven to help visibly reduce both fine lines and deep wrinkles.
 

2.   Olay Regenerist Micro-Sculpting Cream

Anti-aging moisturizer hydrates and renews to firm and lift, helping retain skin’s youthful surface contours
Reduces the look of up to 10 years of wrinkles in just 4 weeks
Formula with advanced Amino-Peptide Complex penetrates deep into skin surface to visibly reduce the appearance of wrinkles fast
Visible wrinkle results start day 1

3.   Neutrogena Rapid Wrinkle Repair

 

Clinically proven to reduce the look of fine lines and wrinkles in just one week.

Wrinklecreamguide.net offers their two-cents worth regarding the top wrinkle creams for us Menopausal Moms to purchase.  Prices can be as low as $25.99, but some sell for $179.99.  All that I can say is, “wow!”  And, that is not a good “wow.”

 

http://wrinklecreamguide.net/?utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=WrinkleCreamGuide.net&utm_term=wrinkle%20creams&utm_content=WC

The advertisements for wrinkle reduction creams are actually flooding the market now…of course we know Baby Boomers are all part of this market, so it makes sense. We are a big group!  And, I am one of the last Baby Boomers…December 1964!  I was a late Boomer… J

But, this market is not just focused on females.  Nope, women are not alone in this race to reduce wrinkles.  There are many males out there in search of younger looking skin too!  According to an article by CNBC, titled, “Real men don't cry—but they are exfoliating,” men are part of a growing market of consumers in search of personal care products and “mampering.”  Yes, I’m serious.  This term refers to men who want to be pampered, and evidently this includes a lot of men!  I'm not judging....

This is a blurb from the December 2014 article:
http://www.cnbc.com/2014/12/05/

 “Since 2012, beauty and personal care launches specifically targeted at men have increased globally by more than 70 percent, according to Mintel. In 2014, total U.S. sales for the men's personal care market hit $4.1 billion, up 6.7 percent from 2012 and 19 percent from 2009, making it one of the fastest-growing segments of the beauty industry. Mintel predicts sales will grow to $4.6 billion by 2019.”

But, which products are best? 

I decided to go to a higher quality department store to ask for suggestions.  The suggestion was, by more than one sales person, or consultant of other brands, to use Clinique products, so I am giving them a try.  The 3-piece set is assembled based on your skin type.  My skin is very dry, so I have moisturizing soap, moisturizer and moisture surge make-up.  I even bought a product specific to tightening up the loose skin above my eyes.  I will keep you updated on my progress.  Oh, and my total purchase was about $150.00.  I didn’t think that was too expensive. 

I hope my husband doesn't read this.

But, do any of our readers have products they are using that they could recommend?  Do the products have to be expensive?  I had one person tell me just to use cocoanut oil.  Has anyone tried that?  Let’s try to help each other out.  Testing these products could get really expensive!  Just comment below and tell us what works, or does not work, for you. 

May your hot flashes be mild and your wrinkles even milder!
Kim York

Twitter: A lesson in liberation in 140 characters

This picture has nothing to do with the text but it's pretty

By Mary Meehan
I'm the one who is an accidental sexter

Don't feel bad for not understanding Twitter

It's like the Cloud and Donald Trump's choice of hair style -- truly unfathomable.

The Trump/Hair joke is cheap, I know, but I needed to get it in before anti-Trump comments are banned.

A semi-famous,  tech-savvy head of a pseudo-solvent, start-up said recently that no one really understands Twitter.

In fact, he admitted that other things we middle-aged, middle Americans will never use and have likely never heard of like SnapChat remain stubbornly without instruction. Why is that? "Digital natives", people who have been playing with our phones since they were 3, don't like instructions, they just like to figure it out. Apparently, this is because it makes them feel like the digital "in crowd" .

This is the same group that can't crack the code of doing their own laundry, getting their own apartments and who are also entranced with the pencil as an object 'd art that needs to be perfectly balanced and created by craftspeople in a gluten-free workshop in Portland ...Oregon, of course, not Maine.

I understand the sentiment. It is like being the first girl in 5th grade to discover One Direction on via the Internet and telling your Mom who became equally smitten, although you've moved but she stayed weirdly obsessed....oh those cheeky lads!!!

It seems like a really stupid business plan. Make your product impossible to use beyond early adapters who will soon move onto something else they can decipher before others which means you never really grab a suitably broad base in of any market share to to succeed,.

But that's not why we are here today.

By saying no one understands Twitter my semi-famous anonymous source was onto something. I've jumped on social media, Twitter in particular, not because I longed to express myself in 140 characters but because my job told me I had to.

So, for me, there was no joy in Tweeting. Most of us in media, which includes me but I don't like to talk about it, jumped on Twitter because it was the next Big Thing five years ago and we missed the next big thing of 15 years ago, the Internet, so we don't let any Big Thing pass without throwing ourselves at it like a Ted Cruz launching himself at an uncommitted delegate.
And, like that uncommitted delegate, I was not that into it.. I didn't have any real back and forth with followers, I followed all who followed me because I just wanted to see those numbers rise. (Shout out to GdatAustrailia! ) 140 characters, who can say anything in 140 characters?

So now I have, collectively, a whopping 250 followers here's the life lesson that seems like a good motto for the wider world.

I know you've been waiting. The back and forth is fun. The differing opinions are enlightening. The movement and pace of the exchanges are enticing and, the best part, if I don't like something I can bounce.

So here is Twitter motto that I'm also applying in my non-digital life.

I decide to who follow, I decide who to block, what's important and what's noise. I'm tethered to no one and they get no say if I go.

(That's 140 characters)

Polyester pants…yes, please!

I remember thinking as a teenager, I would never wear those bright-colored, polyester pants all of the “old” women wore with elastic bands around the waist. 

 

 

Oh no, I was going to be a fashionably cognizant older woman who would wear form-fitting, classy clothing, and carry designer handbags.    

 

Did I mention I wasn’t too bright as a teenager?

As I have become this “older” woman, I have come to understand why “those” women wear pants with elastic bands.  When I am about to go number one…unbuttoning and unzipping pants is no fun!  It’s a sprint to the bathroom from the start…and, once I know it is time to go…get out of my way Chico!  

So, now I have learned to love and embrace pants with elastic bands.  They make “going,” so much easier!  And, here is the best part about embracing elastic band pants in our day and age…Ponte Pants!  Yes, finally designers have figured it out.  No more bright-colored, nerdy, elastic band pants!  Now we have designer, professional, Ponte Pants!  All major, classy department and fashion shops sell them.  And, they cannot keep them in stock!

I own 2 pair in every color.  I have classic black, grey, brown, crème, and even red!  These pants are now part of my everyday life!  It is not a matter of what I am wearing; it is a matter of what blouse I wear with which color Ponte Pant?  

Although, I will say I have also fallen in love with a clothing brand called, Lularoe.  Lularoe offers comfort, but in figure-flattering designs!  No buttons or zippers to deal with on their clothing either…and their leggings are to die for!  These clothes were meant for sprints to the ladies room!  I was only introduced to Lularoe this year, but I can wear any of their blouses with any of my Ponte Pants.  That makes me a happy girl! 

 

Getting old changes everything in our lives…even our clothing. I guess it is a rite of passage.  It is a sucky rite of passage, but one all the same.  And, I have made that transition.  Yes, I am now an “older” woman who wears pants with elastic bands.

May your hot flashes be mild, and your wrinkles even milder!
Kim York